Wednesday, January 20, 2016

First night

Slept the first night in the new apartment. Mom's best friend is staying with her.

In the twilight between sleep and awake the same confusing thoughts: In what bed am I, who is sleeping next to me, what country are we in, who is alive who is dead?

This thought is the only solace: I'll figure it out tomorrow.

On the upside: New school is a 1-minute walk from apt. Much appreciated by mother and child alike.

Now: unpacking, organizing, writing lists.

Sunday, January 17, 2016

Still so cold in Stockholm

It's still so cold that my phone keeps dying despite having 50% or more battery.
I hear it every time complaining: I'm from Cupertino, fuck this, I'm out.

I'll say this after a week of extreme cold though: I've gotten used to it. And as long as the cold is dry and beautiful, it's not too bad.

Friday, January 15, 2016

Greetings from Stockholm

Where it is currently 10 degrees Fahrenheit (iphone tells me it feels like 1 degree). 
I'm cold inside out, outside in. Planning my move, the purchase of even warmer winter clothes for Niki and looking forward to meeting up with my friend Lena. 

wish this was in our future as well as in the past

but we've had this. so many moments, years of this. the love lingers on

Thursday, January 14, 2016

DANCE DANCE DANCE with me or just dance!

Went to see this yesterday, was reminded of how much I need and love to dance

did you dance today?
dance with me!

I've collected some of my at-home-dancing here:

Yes sir I love to boogie

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

and so, life goes on .

Am still staying with Niki at my parents' house out in the suburbs. We move into our own apartment in downtown Stockholm next week.

This morning, Niki started school here in Sweden. Will pick her up in a few hours, so curious to hear what her day's been like.

Niki in school also means my own first proper day of work.
And mom's first day on her own since dad passed away on Jan 3rd.

I miss Joel, Vanja and Anders so much. But I'll see them again.

can't fathom I'll never get to hug him again or laugh with him. but so many great memories. so many.

such a loved man. do you see him in the pile of grandkids above? he's there.

Sunday, January 10, 2016

going through my pics

found this girl. 

thank you

I can't remember who I've replied to and not so want to send out a big thank you to all of you who've said kind words these past days.

Friday, January 8, 2016



only relief is family and friends. only not so only.

Tuesday, January 5, 2016


I lost my dad this past Sunday. Miss him so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so
so so so so so so so so so
so so so so so so so so so
so so so so so so so so so
so so so so so so so so so
so so so so so so so so so
so so so so so so so so so
so so so so so so so so so
so so so so so so so so so
so so so so so so so so so
so so so so so so so so so
so so so so so so so so so.

Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Brooklyn - Spoiler alert

If you haven't seen the movie Brooklyn and want to see it knowing nothing about it , quit reading here.

So my plane was cancelled and I was offerred a new flight two days later. With all this new time on our hands, I could go to the movies to see Brooklyn with Anders.

The movie is largely about a woman who leaves her husband behind in Brooklyn while she travels to her native European country to be with the family she was born into and how she feels torn between the two countries.

Could relate.

Sunday, December 27, 2015

Will not just miss these people

Will not just miss Anders, Vanja and Joel this spring while I'm in Stockholm.
I will also miss the apt. Love it.

Joel before and after

Though a hair cut is only hair, I feel Joel's looks changed from West coast to East coast with each chopped lock.

Saturday, December 26, 2015



What Anders got for X-mas: Owl appeal and the wonderful gift from me that I fixed the broken laundry machine. 

We're not yet American enough to go for big tree. 

Swedish-American girl with her American girl.

Sometimes NYC looks the way I imagine industrial China. Two places for the price of one! And yes, this was taken yesterday. It's oddly warm in NYC.

Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Trying out the new lenses

Finally same height. 

I have a friend named Maria. She's a photographer. I actually have two photographer Maria friends, but one of them told me taking photographs is mainly about shooting what you see the way you see it and then she added that great lenses are it. 

"you could almost go with a lousy camera as long as you have a great lens". 

I took her word for it and invested. Lots of pictures to come. 
Now that I have your attention and we're on this topic - what kind f pics do you prefer from me?
Family pics, street pics  - what?

Where are you and where are you spending the holidays?

I'm in NYC still, will spend xmas and new year's here, then leave for Stockholm on Jan 1st.
Where are you and what are you up to in the next few weeks?


Sunday, December 20, 2015

Less than two weeks left

Today, it's less than two weeks before the whole fam goes back to Sweden, Niki and I not to return to NYC for who knows how long.

It's an impossible situation.
I'm not functioning too well. I keep forgetting things, double booking etc.

So if you know me and think I'm acting weird, you're right.
Eventually, I'll be ok. But not right now. So bear with me.

Friday, December 18, 2015

No 1 material wish

I've had my Fujifilm X-E2 for close to two years now. Bought it around Christmas 2013. I love it. But for some time have been wanting one or two more lenses.

Trying two out right now. LOVE THIS LENS

And yes, Joel got a haircut. 

Material wishes

My wish list right now.

This trench from Moschino (or from any brand in this style):

 Boutique Moschino belted trench coat

I used to have one like it that I wore to pieces.

A new bottle of this, it makes everyday smell like oranges and sunshine:


A Hövding bike helmet för each of my family members.

A leather case for my camera so I can just put it in my bag.

A membership at my new neighborhood swimming pool.

New, warm sweaters and cardigans.

A new pair of jeans (I have one pair).

A blouse that's not black.

Red boots.

This book:

And this book:

Tuesday, December 15, 2015

What facetiming Sweden in Dec looks like

Am serious this is a real pic of our conversation. Mom was walking to her car. 

Then and now

Niki turned 8 today. So this was now 8 years ago.

And this was this morning:

She's feisty and defiant. For instance, she's been fiercely against hats and gloves all her life.

Big changes ahead

My dad is ill. I will be moving to Stockholm with Niki this January.
Big kids will stay in NYC with Anders. Don't want to uproot them now that they're loving their life in this city.
We'll travel back and forth to see each other until we figure out our way. It will be tough on all of us. But I see no other solution than the one we're planning.

Love my dad so much. We go way back. He's the best.

I keep waking up repeatedly in the middle of the night, unable to go back to sleep. 
My whole system is on high alert. Anders says it's the same for him. 

Back from Stockholm

Here are some of the people I saw in Stockholm. 


Karin & Annika




Karin C